


Self-Esteem

by Random_Soul



Series: Aaron Burr x Hamilsquad [15]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Aaron Burr Has Low Self-Esteem, Aaron Burr's Uncle - Freeform, Aaron burr needs a hug, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Explicit Language, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, George Washington is a Dad, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Polyamory, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:42:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24510244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Random_Soul/pseuds/Random_Soul
Summary: Aaron Burr has trouble taking compliments
Relationships: Aaron Burr/Alexander Hamilton, Aaron Burr/Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan, Aaron Burr/Everyone, Aaron Burr/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, Aaron Burr/Hercules Mulligan, Aaron Burr/John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, Alexander Hamilton/Hercules Mulligan, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan, Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan, John Laurens/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, John Laurens/Hercules Mulligan
Series: Aaron Burr x Hamilsquad [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586617
Comments: 22
Kudos: 148





	Self-Esteem

Hercules Mulligan loved all of his boyfriends. Every last one of them was wonderful and perfect in their imperfect way. He thought he knew each one of them better than himself and the others would agree to that. He knew about Alexander’s fear of storms and sickness that carried on from his past. He knew about John’s father who never accepted anything he did and would call John just to remind him of that. He knew about Lafayette’s ex-girlfriend in France who constantly tried to get back with him whenever he returned, kissing him on multiple occasions after being told no. He knew about Aaron’s self-depreciation and how he constantly played it off as a joke to hide how insecure he was. Yes, he knew about all of that. At least, he thought he did.

It wasn’t until Aaron Burr got drunk that the truth was revealed.

They were at a local bar and decided to draw straws to see who the designated driver was. Burr offered, but the others said that he needed to loosen up. Hercules drew the short straw and so here he is at the bar, still nursing his first and, most likely, only drink of the night. Aaron Burr is right next to him and the others are on the dance floor. Aaron has a few drinks and so he’s at the stage between buzzed and full-on drunk. This is the stage where he lets his guard down and will state things that are on his mind. This is the stage where he confessed he loved them.

“Cupid’s a bitch, isn’t he?” Hercules looks over at Aaron who just spoke.

“What?”

“Cupid. The weird little baby thing that wears a diaper-”

“No, I know who Cupid is. Why is he a bitch?”

“For making you fall in love with an idiot who can’t do a single thing right. A person who isn’t worth anything more than the glass you’re drinking out of. A person who is just a general piece of shit.” Hercules looks at the dance floor and sees the three others being stupid. He knew that they could get annoying, but that was too harsh and wasn’t even true.

“I’m not in love with a general piece of shit.” Hercules turned back to Aaron, getting mad and defensive. Aaron looked back and had tears in his eyes, over pouring onto his cheeks. It was at that moment that Hercules knew he wasn’t talking about the ones on the dance floor.

“Neither am I.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

Alex was sitting in his office when the door opened. Aaron walked in, smiling at him.

“Hey, Alex. Are you ready to head home?”

“No. I have some more work to do, you can go without me.”

“We took one car, remember? Mine wouldn’t start.”

“Oh, right. Would you mind waiting a little longer? I’ll only be an hour.” That was a lie. Alex wrapped it up at almost ten o clock. Aaron fell asleep on his couch probably twenty minutes after he first entered. He had a long day and didn't sleep great the night before. Alex packs his stuff and goes over to Burr.

“Hey, Aaron? I’m really sorry to keep you waiting. Turns out it was longer than expected.” Aaron got up. He was in that state that you really didn’t know if he was awake or asleep and he didn’t really know if he was in a dream or reality. Aaron lets Alex lead him to the car and buckle him in. He goes to the other side and gets in the car as well, starting it up.

“Hey, Alexander?”

“Yes, Aaron?”

“You wanna hear an interesting fact?”

“What?”

“You can say just how much you hate yourself all you want. But, if you do it with a smile on your face, everyone will think you’re joking.” Alex looks over at Aaron who is looking off in the distance, smiling. How many times has his own boyfriend said extremely self-deprecating things and played it off as a joke? Just earlier this day, he was talking to someone in the breakroom and made a joke about how the only person who would miss him if he disappeared would be the local stray cat. The other person laughed along with Aaron and even Alex smiled at it. Was he serious? He knew he had self-esteem issues. How deep did it go? Have they failed to express their love enough to raise his confidence? Alex sighed and looked out the window. He wants to erase all doubt in his boyfriend’s mind that was created by the past. Aaron doesn’t talk about it much, claiming to want to look to the future instead. He places a hand on Aaron’s knee.

“Are you hungry? The others have already eaten and there are some restaurants coming up.”

“Yeah, we can get some food.”

“What do you want? Only fast food restaurants are open this late.”

“I want a hamburger.”

“Alright. Wendy’s sound good?” 

“Sure.” Alex looks over and smiles at Aaron. He pulls into the drive-thru.  
______________________________________________________________________________

Lafayette is reading a book with Aaron sitting in his lap. The others were supposed to be getting some dinner, but they got distracted and are at the park. Laf reaches a hand up and begins to massage Aaron’s scalp. Aaron sighs and leans into it. Laf kisses the top of his head.

“Mon cheri, have I told you how beautiful you are recently?” Aaron looks down and plays with the hem of his pant leg.

“I’m not beautiful.”

“Yes, you are.” Aaron sighs and leans back.

“Okay.” Lafayette can tell that Aaron doesn’t believe him.

“How come you never believe me when I tell you these things?” Aaron just shrugs.

“How come you have lived in America since high school and still kiss people on the cheek in greeting?”

“It’s how I was raised.”

“There’s your answer. When you get told so many things, you start to believe them.”

“And we can only get your insecurities out of you when we are being mushy and sweet because…”

“True men don’t cry.”

“Well, that’s stupid.”

“That’s what I was told. I am trying to unlearn everything negative about myself but it’ll take time.”

“What can we do to help you?” Aaron looks at him sadly.

“I don’t know.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

John pulls up a chair and sits down next to the bed. Aaron has just gotten home from a really long day of work and just wanted some sort of rest. He came to the bed and asked to be woken up when dinner was done. John came home from his work to see a peaceful and relaxed Aaron sleeping with a strip of blanket going from behind his knees, across his waist, then ending with his head resting on the end. John’s first thought was how he looks like a picture. So, he’s decided to draw him. Aaron doesn’t move in his sleep (unlike Lafayette who has ended up in some strange positions, several times on the floor after one asleep boyfriend gets sick of it and pushes him off the bed). Still, he may want to hurry. Dinner will be done in two hours, so his time frame is, at most, that. He begins to sketch the outlines of his body and the bed. About an hour and a half later, John’s done. He finishes a few final touches before Alex pops his head in.

“Oh, hey John. Dinner will be done in twenty minutes. Do you want to wake up Aaron or have me do it.” 

“I can.” Alex walks over and looks at the picture.

“That’s amazing, John. You’ve gotten so good at pictures like these.”

“Thanks.” John looks at Aaron. Though he loves Aaron, he is always guarded. It’s not his fault. Everyone who has loved him has either left or died. Those who raised him hated him for who he truly was and that’s not fair to him. When he’s asleep, he looks like a kid. Like a person who hasn’t been forced to go through things no person should. Yes, they all have their own problems and they have all faced countless challenges, but Aaron’s were just unfair. He didn’t deserve that. Nobody deserves that. “He’s so peaceful.”

“I wonder how we could get him like this when he’s awake.”

“Maybe a vacation would help him. We’ll need to take one.”

“We could go to that little place uptown. It’s quiet uptown, he’d like it uptown. (Yeah, that’s right. I referenced the most depressing song and changed it to a happy statement. Fight me!)” John smiles. Alex kisses John’s cheek and goes downstairs. John stood up and sat on the bed. He begins to lay kisses all over Aaron’s face. Aaron slowly begins to stir from his slumber, eyes opening slowly.

“Hey, Aaron. Dinner is gonna be done soon.” Aaron rubs his eyes before seeing the sketchbook on the chair.

“Were you drawing?”

“Yeah. I came in here about two hours ago to see you sleeping and I wanted to draw you.” He rushed over to grab it, showing Aaron. “Do you like it?”

“I mean, yeah. But why would you want to draw me? I’m not that interesting.”

“Yes, you are. See? When you sleep, your eyelashes cast such a pretty shadow over your face. And - and your facial expression looks so relaxed, it’s like you’re young and full of hope again. Your hands are so delicate and yet have held so many secrets. Your eyes sparkle with them, you know. I wish I could catch it in a drawing. The pain you’ve felt in the past mixing with your hope for the future. Maybe one day I’ll get it right.” Aaron blushes and shows a shy smile. John beams and begins to head downstairs as Aaron fully awakens. “We need to compliment Aaron more.”

“Yeah, I’ve been trying to since he got drunk a while back.”

“I wish we could take all of those thoughts out of petite Burr.”

“It just takes time.”

“But the longer it takes, the longer he hurts.”

“I know. We just have to wait for it.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

It was two months later when the four boyfriends of Aaron Burr figured out just why it was so bad.

Hercules, John, and Lafayette brought some food to Alex’s and Aaron’s work for lunch. Alex mentioned really wanting a pizza in their group chat, so his perfect partners decided to make it happen. It’s been about an hour since they arrived and all the pizza was gone. They were just sitting around and relaxing, talking about their day.

That’s when the biggest asshole walked into the room.

He had an angry glare and looked to be in his late forties. He had wide shoulders and a thick beard. Hercules eyed him, wondering what he was doing. He looked mad. Aaron glanced at Hercules and followed his gaze to the door. Aaron immediately stood up, taking a step away.

“Uncle! What are you doing here?”

“Checking on my nephew. I heard rumors that you were hanging out with faggots and wanted to see if they were true.” He looks around at the group. “I see it is.”

“Do not call them that. They are better than you.” That got his attention. Aaron’s uncle looked at him with a dark look in his eyes.

“Really? I’m the bad guy here? Who took you in after your grandparents’ death, huh? Who fed you and clothed you, despite you being worthless? Who kept you around even after your own sister ran away. Have you ever noticed that? Anyone who stays with you dies or runs. They hate you so much, they would take the sweet release of death over seeing your face every day. I didn’t. I kept you out of foster care and out of the orphanages. And this is what I get for it? An ungrateful piece of shit who can’t even stand on his own, relying on sugar daddies to give him the next meal. A whore. I have a whore for a nephew and one who can’t even be respectful, at that. No wonder your parents died. I would too if I gave birth to you.” Aaron was crying at this point. It wasn’t a full-on sob, no. But it was enough for John to snap out of his daze. And when he did, he was mad. John’s father was homophobic, much like Aaron’s uncle. They were actually a lot alike. However, John stands up to his father and speaks his mind. He always did and he wasn’t gonna stop now.

“You do not call Aaron that. He is beautiful and perfect and a better human being than you’ll ever be. If anyone was the reason his parents died it would’ve been you after they realized the piece of shit they were related to. Aaron is loved and I will not stand by and let you talk about him like that.”

“Pathetic. You can’t even stand up for yourself, can you? Come with me. We’re gonna go home so I can at least attempt to fix you.” Aaron keeps his head down and makes his way to his uncle. Hercules stands up between the two.

“No. Aaron is not going anywhere.” The uncle balls his hand up in a fist, reeling it back. Hercules stands strong. Right before he’s able to punch Hercules, a hand came and grabbed it. His uncle whipped his head back. Despite being five foot ten inches, he still looked up. His eyes filled with fear that he tried to not let his body convey.

You see, Aaron’s uncle was scary, but George Washington was nightmarish.

“Aaron is not going anywhere.”

“He’s my nephew.”

“And he’s my employee. In case you can’t tell, you are in MY business, threatening MY workers, under MY roof and MY protection. We are a bunch of lawyers that can utterly destroy you. So, if you don’t want a lawsuit on your hands, I suggest you leave and never come back. For the moment you do, you will have the best law firm in New York shoved down your throat. Do I make myself clear?” Washington let go of his hand, pushing him out the door. The uncle glared once more at Aaron before leaving. As soon as he was gone, Aaron bursted into tears. Washington pulled him into his chest, rubbing his back. “It’s okay, son. You’re safe.” Alex, Hercules, Lafayette, and John came to Aaron, comforting him any way they could.

One week later, they took a vacation uptown.

**Author's Note:**

> I know basically all of these are focused on Aaron Burr. The main reason for that is because there are 582 works under the tag for just John, Alex, Laf, and Hercules. And that's just on AO3! So, that's why.
> 
> Also, for my short and sweet series, do you want me to do other more rare pairings? I know George Washington and King George III are next to nonexistent. Or would you rather me make a separate series on the two of them? It's just a thought, not a definite fact.


End file.
